Sunday, December 10, 2006

Stimulating Mail

An acquaintance recounted the following anecdote in a drinking establishment recently...

Being a broadminded fellow, this gentleman responded to an email just before last Christmas and purchased his partner a six-month subscription to a slightly racy ladies magazine ("delivered in plain packaging") as a little extra Christmas gift. What you might call a 'stocking filler' (possibly in the hope of encountering more stockings, who knows?).

It being the month of June, the subscription has expired, and he received a letter in the morning post (at half past three in the afternoon - this is the UK, you understand) inviting him to extend the subscription. All good and proper. While it shows a slight lack of etiquette, he could forgive, he says, the fact that the salutation greeting him on liberating the contents of the letter is 'Dear Scarlet Woman'.

However, what still has him convulsed with a combination of laughter and what we can only call 'chagrin' is the fact that renewing said subscription will result in a free gift being sent to his good lady. To whit: a device known, we understand, as a 'Rampant Rabbit'. A photograph of what we might refer to the 'business end' of which is clearly visible through the little clear 'address window' in the envelope.

He has kindly provided us with a scan of the offending envelope, cunningly altered to disguise his location. We wonder what the postman thought...

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